OT XXVII [B] (Oct 7) Mark10: 2-12 (2-16) L/12

Today’s gospel gives Christ’s explicit teaching on marriage and divorce, the divine origin of marriage, the sacredness of family life and the indissolubility of marriage.  These are difficult messages to preach in a society that embraces co-habitation and ignores both the escalating divorce statistics and the dangerous consequences of divorce.  The Gospel teaches that family life is sacred, that husband and wife are partners with equal rights and that the destruction of the family by divorce will result in the destruction of society. 

The creation story in chapter two of Genesis shows that the ancient Israelites knew the importance of man and woman being joined one to another. The woman is made of the rib of man, and, hence, she is “bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh.” Figuratively, “bone” stands for strength and “flesh” stands for weakness. A woman has the strength and weaknesses complementing to that of man.

Man and woman complement each other relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. From the moment of creation, woman is seen as a suitable partner for man. Woman is intended to be the one in whom man finds support and strength. This does not mean subservience in any way, for she is a "partner." It does speak to marriage relationships.

In answering to the Jews, Jesus did not claim to introduce a new teaching. He reminded the Jews that his doctrine went back to the original intention of God. He was not addressing to the legality but the morality of divorce. He was speaking of the expediency in marriage. He declared that no man was allowed to separate what God had joined together (Mt 19:6).  These words might have reminded the Pharisees of

Yahweh’s warning given through his last prophet: “I hate

divorce” (Malachi 2:16).  Jesus also explains that Moses'

permission for divorce was only a temporary concession to

control the growing rate of divorce even in his time, by

introducing a law governing divorce.

What form of divorce did the Hebrews practice before Moses gave them the law? It was probably the same "triple express" rule that obtained among their Semitic neighbours, like the ones practiced by Muslims even today, whereby a woman was considered divorced if her husband pronounced a divorce formula three times in the presence of two male witnesses. By oral statement alone a divorce could be concluded in an instant in a fit of anger. But requiring a letter of divorce in a culture where only the temple priests could read and write meant that a divorce process could take months to conclude. This would give the couple time to sleep over it, and friends and family members to mediate and resolve the conflict. The demand for a letter of divorce saved many marriages that would have ended in a hasty divorce in the old "triple express" system.

In fact, viewed against its cultural background, the provision to divorce with a letter was not to facilitate separation of husband and wife but to protect the indissolubility of marriage.

  According to the Mosaic sanction, men were allowed to divorce their wives, but wives were not able to divorce their husbands.  By denying the man’s right to divorce, Jesus places the husband and wife on an equal footing in marriage and teaches that no Mosaic regulation dealing with a temporary situation can alter the permanency and unity of marriage which God intended.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church summarizes the Church’s teaching: “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law.   It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death......  Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society.  This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society” (CCC nos. 2384, 2385). The indissolubility is based on 3 things. 1.It is rooted in the will of God. Couples are united in God’s will which is immutable. Sacrament of Marriage is patterned in the love of Jesus for the Church who died for his Church. 2. Sexual intimacy, in God’s plan, has a real, specific purpose: it is meant to be a language of love between spouses.  A sacramental marriage which is consummated is indissoluble because children born of marriage can not be undone by divorce. 3. Divorce gives rise to instability of society.

Stability in marriage: Of course, it is not always easy for the two partners in a marriage to get along with each other.  The

husband and wife bring to the marriage their strengths and

weaknesses, loves and hates, hurts and wounds, hopes and

fears.  Hence, the first requisite for a lasting marriage is that the spouses learn to accept each other as they are:  two imperfect and vulnerable human beings. 

When the marriage relationship breaks down and reconciliation is not possible, the Church recognizes the right of the couple to separate and live apart permanently.  If divorced Catholics then enter into a civil marriage, they are allowed to receive Eucharistic Communion only if they refrain from sexual relations.

The Church’s teaching on divorce and remarriage  is easy to be misunderstood  to claim that annulments are just a Catholic form of divorce. But in fact the two are quite different. Divorce and remarriage claims that a true marital bond was really formed, then broken, and then another one formed. But an annulment is a recognition that from the beginning something actually obstructed the formation of the marital bond, so that the spousal union of persons never really occurred. In that case, a person is still free to marry, to make the exclusive, permanent union with someone else.

Sometimes the cause of “failed” marriages can be traced back to these kinds of conscious or unconscious flaws in the original consent. Sometimes serious difficulties in a marriage may require, for the good of the spouses or of the children, separation, or even civil divorce (for example, in the case of physical abuse), and Catholics in these situations can still be in full communion with the Church. Annulments and separations are always painful, which is one of the reasons why the Church encourages her children to prepare well for marriage. Not only by attending marriage preparation classes – which are important – but most importantly by living a life of virtue, prayer, and faith, and by ridding themselves of the widespread “divorce mentality.” I think our divorce mentality has so much in common with our yard sale mentality. We dispose of things in yard sale, things that have some defect, which we don’t want to fix and bring to use. The same mentality creeps into family life too. Some human defect or weakness, in the spouse is taken seriously and instead of both spouses trying to fix it together, is taken to the verge of divorce.

We must reach out to those who have been hurt by bad marriages.  Those who are divorced must be taught that God has not abandoned them.  The parish community needs to accept them with respect, compassion, and sensitivity.  It is the duty of the Christian community to love and support them.  Those who are divorced and remarried must not be excluded from our community.  While the Church cannot sanction remarriage unless the previous marriage was declared annulled by the diocesan marriage tribunal, we must make it clear that the church is not issuing a condemnation.  “They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace” (CCC 1651). 

As we continue with this Mass, let’s thank God for patiently showing us the true meaning of marriage, and let’s pray for all Catholic marriages and families.

Let’s ask God to give them the grace they need to discover and fulfill their beautiful, powerful vocation of being mirrors of God’s self-forgetful love in this self-centered world.