Saturday, August 21, 2010

XXIth Sunday in Ordinary time.

XXI Ordinary Sunday. Hb.12:5-7,11-13,Luke 13:22-30

The credit card is a great invention. With just a plastic card one can go into a shop and buy whatever one wants - a dress, a pair of shoes, grocery, a television set, and even a car - take it home and begin to enjoy it, all with just a promise to pay later, as money becomes available. It is a wonderful system that could be a lifesaver to someone in temporary financial crisis. But the credit card system can create in people the mentality of “have it now and pay later,” which does not work in life generally. In the real life, most of the goods that come to us are prepaid. To pass our exams, we have to study beforehand. We cannot pass our exams now with a promise to complete the required courses later. To win a football match, the team must practice hard before the match, not after. Most goods and blessings that come to us in life are prepaid.

Discipline is the name we give to the necessary hard work and self-denial that people endure in order to prepay for a future reward. Discipline, as everyone knows, can be a very painful experience, but those who succeed after going through the rigor of discipline usually look back and agree that it was worth it. As today’s second reading from the Letter to the Hebrews says, “discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

Wise parents raise their children with discipline. With discipline children are helped to cultivate good habits, such as, early to bed and early to rise, brushing their teeth and taking a shower, cleaning their rooms and helping out in the kitchen. With discipline children learn how to join in the family meal rather than watch television all the time, how to make time to do their homework rather than browsing the internet all night long. At the time, they may object and think that their parents are harsh, but later in life, when they begin to reap the rewards of a disciplined life, they will thank their parents for inculcating some discipline into them.

Our second reading today compares God to good parents who discipline their children out of the love they have for them. God punishes us because he loves us, he wants us to be good children. Paul asks: What child is there whom a parent does not discipline? Punishment becomes part of disciple some times. Parents are to punish their children only if they love them to death; just as God loved us in Jesus. If parents don’t love the children their punishment will bring reverse effects. Punishment becomes a duty for the parents who love their children deeply. If you think you don’t love your children enough, you lose your right to punish them. So if we want our children to be good and if we really love them, remember the dictum in the proverb: Spare the rode and spoil the child. It means that if we refrain from punishments where required, we are bound to spoil our children. Of course we may say, law of the land prohibits it, we are not supposed to punish our children or else we end up in jail. When punished in love we won’t cross over to the limit of what law prohibits. Our society will certainly punish if a man or even a teenager does something criminal. Our society will not spare them. We don’t hear any judge ever saying “I forgive you”. The violator will be put behind bars and their freedom which they regard most in life is choked. But how come the parents are not allowed to punish their our own kids whom they really love, that is absurd. Of course the promulgation of this law was caused because some where some people over did things, were cruel to their own children. To curb one extreme we went to the other extreme. But we know the virtue always lies in the middle. All through the bible we find God submitting his people to punishment for their waywardness.

Several years ago, one young man was condemned to death for robbery and murder. He was in the jail waiting his execution . When he was asked about his last wish he said he wanted to see his mom. His mom was brought to the jail and he asked his mom to come closer because he wanted to share something secret in her ear. When she got near him, he bit her ear off. She was bleeding profusely and when asked why he did that to his mom he said- When I was a kid and stole a pencil from the school, my mother did not punish me, she did not even scold me, on the contrary she encouraged me. And later on I stole several things from the school, but my mother did not punish me even for once. If she had punished me then and made me realize what I did was wrong, I would never have ended up here.
Prov.1:8 says: Hear my child, your father’s instruction, and do not reject your mother’s teaching; for they are a fair garland for your head, and pendants for your neck.
Prov.13:1 says: A wise child loves discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

So always remember to correct our children when they do wrong. Overlooking their mistakes when they are young would encourage them to develop bad habits. They should not be prompted to think that we are approving of their faults. A bent plant can be straightened when it is young, not when it has become a grown tree. It is wise not to punish children for any kind of mistakes at the first or second instance. Correcting a few times would probably bring good result. Being lenient too many times will inspire them to commit the same mistakes often. Remember, never to punish them before others, especially before their friends or peers. It will hurt them severely and cut down their self image. Also never speak of the negatives of your child before him/her to others. That will not produce the intended results. In spite of repeated punishments if the child does not improve, then you need to find out the reason behind it. This may be a trick to getting your attention, because he or she needs your attention more than what he gets now.

After the vacation a school teacher asked her class how they enjoyed the vacation and told them to write down what they wanted to become in life. After the class the teacher took the papers home and was reading them at night and as she read one paper she started crying. Her husband asked what happened and she gave him the paper to read. A boy wrote he wanted to become a TV. The reason he wrote were,.. TV is placed in a respectable position and everyone pays attention to the TV and listens carefully to the TV. At home no one listens to me. My parents have no time to talk to me or spend their time with me. My brother is busy with his cell phone and computer, and there is no one to talk to me. If I become a TV and if I get the attention the TV gets in my home I will be very happy. When he read through the paper and came to read the name of the boy he found out that it was written by none other than their own son.

Once the children reach teenage, corporal punishment is not advisable. Prov.19:18 says: Discipline your children while there is hope; do not set your heart on their destruction. A violent tempered person will pay the penalty”. So when you are angry don’t think of punishing your children, you can go to extremes. When one of the parents punish, let the other parent console them and fondle them in love, so that they would know that the parents do not hate them, but punished out of love and concern. The children who had been punished and had opportunities to take “no”s in their childhood are less likely to have mental breakdown when they grow older.
The intensity of punishment should always be in proportion to the mistake done. Never punish twice for the same mistake. The way a child is reared affects how genetic predispositions are expressed. Being a parent is an awesome vocation. The relationship parents have with their children leaves its influence on them for many years afterwards.
Discipline entails tr
ials and hardships. It takes going through the “narrow gate”. But only those who go through the narrow gate will make it to heaven. Wide and smooth are the road that leads to destruction.
Many years ago, an editorial in the magazine, War Cry put it like this: “A loose wire gives out no musical note; but fasten the ends, and the piano, the harp or the violin is born. Free steam drives no machine. But hamper and confine it with piston and turbine and you have the great world of machinery made possible. The unhampered river drives no dynamos, but dam it up and we get power sufficient to light a great city. So our lives must be disciplined if we are to be of any real service in this world.”

Let me conclude by reading to you a famous quote: Watch your words, they become your actions, watch your actions they become your habit, watch your habit they become your character, and your character will determine your destiny.

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